What do you get if you cross a yeti with a vampire? Frostbite.

What do you get if you cross a yeti with a vampire? Frostbite. 

Friends across the United States: Think warm thoughts!

Rarely does an Disney prop, a corny joke and an extraordinary weather pattern align themselves so perfectly. LOL. This is a photo I took of a Yeti exhibit while waiting in line for Adventure Everest at Animal Kingdom in Orlando last year. I've been waiting for the perfect time to use it but nothing seemed to fit until this monster freeze currently sweeping across the United States. I Googled "Yeti jokes" and the one I used above was perfect for both it's reference to Vampires (with fangs similar to the yeti mask) as well as to frostbite.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

#yeti   #winter   #jokes

Two 70 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.

Two 70 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.

When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day.

One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved sailing all our lives, and we raced against each other on Saturdays and cruised with each other for so many years. Please do me one favor, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's sailing there."

Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed, "Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you.” 

Shortly after that, Joe sadly passes on.

At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Mike! Mike!”

"Who is it? Asks Mike sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Mike, it's me, Joe."

"You're not Joe. Joe just died!"

"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice."

"Joe! Where are you?"

"In heaven.” replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first.” says Mike.

"The good news," Joe says," is that there's sailing in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. Our wives are there too, and young and pretty as ever! And best of all, we can race all we want, and RC always sets a square line and our sails never blow out of shape or get shredded!"

That's fantastic," says Mike. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?”

"You're foredeck this Saturday.”

(What's more tragic, that he's dying on Saturday or that his first position is foredeck?)

#x   #sailing   #jokes